My fucking job is unbelievable, I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with: First there is the supermodel wanna-be chick. I'll give her credit she is pretty fucking hot. But she's constantly fixing her hair or putting on make up. She is extremely self-centered and never considers the needs/want/desires of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks. I'm surprised she has enough brain power to continue to breathe. She must suck a mean dick, because the boss keeps her around.

The next chick is exactly the opposite. She is probably one of the smartest persons on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, yet she is here with us. She is like a -10 on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her 'womanly' parts. I think she is a lesbian because every time we drive by a Home Depot she moans like she is creaming her panties.

Finally and the jewel of the crowd is a fucking stoner. I'm not talking like an occasional toker. This guy is baked before he comes to work, during work and I'm sure after work. I would doubt that he has been 'sober' in the last 10 years easily. And he's only 22. He dresses like a freakin' beatnik throwback from the 1960's. To make it worse he brings his big fucking dog to work. Every fucking day I have to look at this HUGE FUCKING DOG!! This thing usually walks around about 1/2 stoned from the 2nd hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Both of them are constantly hungry and require multiple stops at McDonalds and Burger King.

Anyways, I drive these fucktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.